So I've put off writing this for a while now, I didn't know if it was a suitable post for my photography blog, but I came to the conclusion it's pushed me further with my photography and therefore sort of justifiable.
Basically the end of 2012/beginning of 2013 started off on a rather low and sour note. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years just before my birthday and it left me in a pretty bad place. My confidence was stupidly low, my anxiety was silly high and my depression was creeping its way back in. I had to move out of our flat, try and finish my dissertation and go to work, all whilst battling these demons. I didn't know how to adjust or cope with things so for a long time I built myself a duvet cave and I stayed in there for weeks. I didn't want to go out or see anyone, I didn't want to eat and I didn't even want to take photos anymore. My heart just wasn't in anything.
It got to mid February and I decided I had to do something otherwise I was just going to pull myself further into the hole that I was already struggling to get out of. Luckily I have an amazingly supportive family, some awesome friends that helped me with work and showed me how to have a good time again and some awesome friends online that have been really supportive.
Slowly I've been picking myself back up again and pushing myself to do things I probably wouldn't have done before. Anyone that struggles with anxiety and depression will know what it's like when you just don't want to leave the house, at all, and if it wasn't for my family and friends I probably wouldn't have for quite a long time!
I ventured into university for tutorials and a presentations that went way better than I ever imagined. I went to see Russell Kane with one of my best friends and had the best time. I hung out with my blogger friends in Cornwall, Bristol and Bath and didn't stop smiling for days. I spent time with my family getting stuck in giant puddles.
I had two shoots this week and I think I've taken some of the best images I ever have done. I have another next week with Megan which is going to be insanely fun and I'm sure those photos are going to be amazing (if I do say so myself)
Basically what I'm getting to is I've realised life throws some rubbish at you when you're not expecting it and forces you to change your way of thinking and doing. It's okay to mope for a bit at first, everyone has to have a duvet day every once in awhile right? But it's important to surround yourself with people that will help pick you up and keep your spirits high. Sometimes you have to just say yes, even if you don't want to. Don't get me wrong I still have low days but they've been few and far between now and I've tried my very best to list at least one positive everyday.
So heres to picking yourself up again and enjoying life. My confidence is coming back and this year is looking like it's going to be a pretty exciting one!
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
So a few weeks ago, just after the rain and snow, I went for a little walk at a local(ish) park whilst I was visiting my parents. I had to go photograph some little wooden dens that I knew where there but I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately so it was nice to get some fresh air and clear my head a bit... I definitely had a much needed laugh!
Before we left my mum & dad put their boots on, but I didn't really think much of it until we got there and walked across the fields, I say walked, what I really mean is they walked off in front while I had to literally tiptoe through thick boggy grass trying A) not to get water in my shoes, and B) not to get stuck, fall over and throw my camera into a puddle! At one point my dad led us across a 'dryish' piece of grass, which was infact the boggiest bit there and I was standing on a twig laughing and trying not to fall over, it literally took us half an hour to navigate around and under a tree and to a drier piece of ground, it's a good thing I'm pretty short as I managed to crawl through the trees pretty easily whilst they stood and laughed at me, mean parents!
Anyway, I posted a few of the photos above, and you can sort of see how muddy my feet were beginning to get and how inappropriate my shoes/lack of socks were!
Ps; couldn't not include this photo of my dad pulling his 'model' pose!