Today's post is quite a personal one... One thing I've always struggled with is confidence, when I was younger I used to hate being in large groups of people. I was always paranoid that people were looking at me and talking about me. I've always been a little... odd lets say. I like quirky things, originality, creativeness, and Ive never been one to follow trends, I just wear whatever I like. Looking back now people probably were looking at me, but I chose to dress how I did, I chose to go to the places I did so I guess in a way I brought it upon myself, but I wouldn't change a thing about my younger self.
I've started pushing myself a lot more to do things, as a photographer you need to be confident, you have to be in charge of situations, and even if you don't know what you're doing you have to ACT like you know, fake it if you have to. Lately I've made myself go to events where I don't really know anyone, but as my boyfriend pointed out, if you don't go then you'll never know anyone, so he literally pushed me out of the door and I attended a tweet up and met some lovely people (more about that at a later date!)
I've also realised the only way I really learn things is by jumping in at the deep end and just doing it, and learning from mistakes I make along the way. Over this year I've assisted at one wedding, done 2 workshops and then literally dived in head first and photographed two weddings, I was terrified but going through the photos and editing I just thought, you know what these are actually pretty good... well done. I'm not saying every picture was perfect, If I were to photograph them again there are things I would do differently, but I am very happy with the images I've taken and hopefully I can continue to progress further.
Anyway back to the title of this post, everyone I know thinks I'm confident and outgoing, when the truth is most of the time I'm faking it! But the more I fake it and pretend to be confident, the more confident I'm actually getting. By putting myself in these terrifying situations I'm over coming my fears and hearing positive feedback at the end really gives me the determination to just do more things.
I realise I'm not the best of writers, but hopefully you can kind of understand what I'm talking about? I hope so anyway!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and if anyone else is the same as me!?
Thursday, 6 September 2012
The end of August/beginning of September was crazy busy, I had my peacock shoot, a Mehndi, Asian Wedding, my mothers birthday followed by an old friends wedding on Monday (as well as pretty much working full time in retail!) So basically I'm swamped in a sea of editing and work but I will update as soon as I can, in the mean time heres a few previews!