So I've put off writing this for a while now, I didn't know if it was a suitable post for my photography blog, but I came to the conclusion it's pushed me further with my photography and therefore sort of justifiable.
Basically the end of 2012/beginning of 2013 started off on a rather low and sour note. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years just before my birthday and it left me in a pretty bad place. My confidence was stupidly low, my anxiety was silly high and my depression was creeping its way back in. I had to move out of our flat, try and finish my dissertation and go to work, all whilst battling these demons. I didn't know how to adjust or cope with things so for a long time I built myself a duvet cave and I stayed in there for weeks. I didn't want to go out or see anyone, I didn't want to eat and I didn't even want to take photos anymore. My heart just wasn't in anything.
It got to mid February and I decided I had to do something otherwise I was just going to pull myself further into the hole that I was already struggling to get out of. Luckily I have an amazingly supportive family, some awesome friends that helped me with work and showed me how to have a good time again and some awesome friends online that have been really supportive.
Slowly I've been picking myself back up again and pushing myself to do things I probably wouldn't have done before. Anyone that struggles with anxiety and depression will know what it's like when you just don't want to leave the house, at all, and if it wasn't for my family and friends I probably wouldn't have for quite a long time!
I ventured into university for tutorials and a presentations that went way better than I ever imagined. I went to see Russell Kane with one of my best friends and had the best time. I hung out with my blogger friends in Cornwall, Bristol and Bath and didn't stop smiling for days. I spent time with my family getting stuck in giant puddles.
I had two shoots this week and I think I've taken some of the best images I ever have done. I have another next week with Megan which is going to be insanely fun and I'm sure those photos are going to be amazing (if I do say so myself)
Basically what I'm getting to is I've realised life throws some rubbish at you when you're not expecting it and forces you to change your way of thinking and doing. It's okay to mope for a bit at first, everyone has to have a duvet day every once in awhile right? But it's important to surround yourself with people that will help pick you up and keep your spirits high. Sometimes you have to just say yes, even if you don't want to. Don't get me wrong I still have low days but they've been few and far between now and I've tried my very best to list at least one positive everyday.
So heres to picking yourself up again and enjoying life. My confidence is coming back and this year is looking like it's going to be a pretty exciting one!
Stay sweet,
Chloe x
I'm so ridiculously proud of how far you have come Chloe, and of you writing this post :) Sharing what you have been through will help so many who are dealing with their own problems and think they are alone. You are showing them they aren't, and giving them one of the most wonderful things you could - hope. Hope for a brighter future, hope that they will get there. And they will. And you, my fantastic friend, are doing bloody marvellous. And 2013 is going to be absolutely glorious for you, I can feel it in my bones :) xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're starting to feel better my love! You've had a rough time of it lately, but it seems like everything is heading in the right direction for you now :) keep strong and let's meet for a tea/ice cream soon! <3
ReplyDeleteChloe! I didn't know you had a blog! and I'm so following now! This is such an honest and touching post. We've all been there. Same thing happened to me years ago boyfriend of years left me for his ex! Total shock and I lost the plot! Cut all my hair off! and was seriously depressed.
ReplyDeleteIts so hard to be creative when your feeling low and I'm so glad you're on the mend. I hope you are!! Here's to what lies ahead!
xxx Rebecca
It is so so hard to open up about everything thats going on and I really admire you for sharing, it's always helpful hearing that other people are in a similar boat or go through things and come out stronger :)
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